If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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