Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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