i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
