I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
