Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
