So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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