What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
