Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
