I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
