Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
