I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
