i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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