Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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