thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
