suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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