Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
no, he came in my armpit
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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