you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
