The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
