Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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