playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
