I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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