big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
