Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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