Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
