I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
