Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
