If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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