some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my being single is dangerous.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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