Having a random hookup so left but love u
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
