God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
