lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
