This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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