Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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