the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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