I need help removing her.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
