I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
