All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
