He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
