3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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