even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
