we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
