Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
