Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
