whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
