I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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