Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
