Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
