You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
