So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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