My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
