i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
