K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
