Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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